No Hype!  Only Sensation...

Dump if you’re looking for this:

• Telephone in the room.  None!  But maybe you can open the window and make a call from your bedroom to the horses in the stable below and chat up a conversation.
• Television in the room.  None!  But we promise to turn you into a country hillbilly by the time you’re done.  You’ll fall in love with your new self so much you may not want to leave.  That’s why we ask for your land-line phone number in advance--so’s we can inform your folks back home your whereabouts.  But of course, we can arrange to call a taxi for you when you do decide to leave. 
• Anything but ranch style cuisine.  None!  Well, you always retain the option to eat out somewhere of your choice.  And if you do get truly sick and tired of our chow, we can offer to rustle up something else... if you behave, that is!
• Electricity on duty always.  Well, some of the time.  We’ll try to play you some country music while you dine...if the Government’s electric supply is working, we mean!  If not, what’s more romantic than dinner by candle light, uh?  Another great idea is to set and have a shot of tequila which you have brought along while you wait for the power.  Now, that beats all.

And we deliberately dumped all the hype! 
So you can experience pure sensation...